Journal Jar catch-up!

Journal Jar Update:

# 63 How do you feel about Doctors and why?

Well, I have no problem going to a doctor - they are the specialist and if they can help me live a longer, healthier life than I am all for their work. I am frustrated by their lack of bedside manner in a modern world where they have only seven to ten minutes with a patient, and I do dislike their reliance on pills to solve problems, but, on the whole, I'd rather be with them than without them!

#64 What was your favorite Sunday activity as a child?

Tough question - Sundays were always work days with my family, and as we were never very close, and always very volatile, it was hard to find something constant that I could love. I loved the smell of new grass after its being cut, or the sweat on my brow after a long day in the sun working. I loved the feel of a cold shower, or dip in the pool after yard-work all day. I loved laying down at night, knowing I had escaped another weekend with my parents and would soon be safe(r) in school.

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I am happy to report that this weekend went far better than last. While I did not do much work for Gettysburg, I did spend much time with Cassie as she and I became preparations for our consulting company. We've much work to do - that's for sure!

Jillian and I had a great weekend as well. I think we're making great strides after our blow-up last weekend, and as always, it has to do with being open and communicative, and not at all selfish.

Oh! I saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith this weekend - much fun, and I am SO rooting for Team Jolie.

Anyway, perhaps a more political and/or spiritual post to come later today - for now, it's just catch-up time! Enjoy the day and the week.

The Friday Five

1. How do you feel about the technology advancements of cloning people and animals?

I am ethically against cloning. To clone one animal there are hundreds of failed attempts, which to me, reek of animal cruelty. As for cloning humans? How selfish have we become that we need to create man? Can we really not accept the crosses we are given to carry in life? Do we need to circumvent illness, suffering, happiness, birth and death? Mankind was created in the image of God and each life is a sacred result of the marriage covenant. It is not our place to create man outside the marriage covenant.

2. If this technology became readily available to all, how do you think this will affect the future of our race?

I would worry for our ability to accept the hardships of life. Cloning offers a false panacea - true learning comes from participating in the full range of the human experience.

3. If your much loved pet died and cloning was available, would you elect to have your pet cloned? What about family and friends?

Of course not! Those people are unique and their clones could never fill my memory or create the same experiences in my life - and for that matter, why would I want to try and recreate what was to be unique and special in the first place. Their passing opens the doors to new relationships with others!

4. Would your family have your consent to be cloned? Why or why not?

See above :)

5. If you had the authority to clone any person no longer alive, who would it be any why?

I wouldn't do it! There are greater spiritual issues at stake, such as that person's soul and their place in God's plan - it is not for us to create life - life is sacred, and not ours to create via cloning!
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Add your own answers to the Friday Five in your journal and link via the comments below! You can also post your answers in the comments box. If you would like to contribute a set of questions for the Friday Five, email me at CDittric77@aol.com!

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Journal Jar Question of the Day: What did your grandfather's do for a living?  Did your grandmothers work?

A good question. I come from a railroad family - in fact, I am the first male of any generation to graduate from College and not spend time on the railroad working. I am the IV in my line on my Dad's side and his father worked for the city and the transportation department. On my mother's side, her father was a conductor on the Metro North line out of NYC. My mom's mother worked to raise seven kids on one pay-check. That's work enough, considering her husband was abusive! My Dad's mother had to work (she was the manager of a stockroom for a company in Danbury, CT) because her husband died when my father was seven. She worked up well into her sixties.

What the heck?

Why is it that we have such inane political deadlock over issues that have a clear right and a clear wrong?

Nonsense

My politics aside I have become so frustrated with politics. There is a wonderful book on the market titled Moral Courage by Rushworth M. Kidder. He makes the claim that in the Information Age, in the age of rationalism and communication physical courage is no longer the dominate trait most needed in men and women to survive.

Instead, he argues that we need moral courage to do what is right without the fear of persecution for making ethical decisions that we believe true. This is not to be confused with people that rationalize their decisions and hide behind a 'fiction' of right and wrong. This book makes the case that there are certain human traits valued by all people, such as trust and loyalty, and that all decisions are black and white - it is we that choose to make them gray out of fear of being accountable for our ethical decisions.

I agree completely - we need to examine ourselves and lay stake to our own Moral Courage.

Confused and Happy

I feel strange, today. I thought much about this past weekend, have talked much with Jillian about our behavior, and today saw my therapist where we discussed this weekend (amongst the other hair-raising adventures of my life) and coming out of it I am both scared and hopeful.

I fear that I will become more and more like my mother as I fight to fix what she did to me as a child and young adult. I am hopeful that by confronting all that is broken within me that I will become whole and happy. It is a strange sensation. Of course that could be the klonopin I take after therapy to lessen my anxiety, and not any fantastic revelation about life.

I said morning prayer today, before getting out of bed. That's an abnormality for me - I usually say it at work - and I feel really good about starting my day that way. There is something comforting in opening the day and morning with God. In reading from the old testament last night, specifically Joshua leading the Israelites into the promised land, I came accross a line that truly resonated within me: Be firm and Steadfast.

That is what we are called to be at all times - to be firm and steadfast in what we believe. Fear and doubt are poison designed to drive us from our convictions and what we know to be morally right and true. Fear and doubt lead us to betray our conscience and take an easier road, even if it is one we wish not to tread. So today, coming off therapy, I say, "be firm and steadfast."

My journal jar answer:
#61: How do you feel about death? What is your philosophy of the "after life?" Well, at the moment death scares the crap out of me. I fear that I am too much like the rich man that approached Jesus and said, "Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?" When Jesus tells him about the commandments, and to follow them, the man says, "All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?" Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. I fear that I am that man, and I do not want to die until I do all I am called to do for God. I believe in Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory - I'm a good Catholic - and I believe that God's mercy is great and that none of us have the right to judge others regarding the status of their soul upon death. Our fate after death is a matter between ourselves and God only - not each other.

I invite discussion with those that believe differently than I, on any of the above statements. I'm interested in hearing other ideas and beliefs - not to persecute but to listen, analyze, and become informed.

The Weekend

What happened to me this weekend?

I invited many friends back to Gettysburg for reunion weekend, I made special effort to pay attention to my wife, I worked hard to be quiet and calm and still, and somehow my life went sideways.

My wife and I fought in furious anger unriveled by any previous fight.

My friends witnessed the darkest side of my personality and wondered who I had become.

I gave myself over to evil for the sheer joy in making others suffer

I broke hearts

I acted like my mother

I hate myself for this weekend, but hope in myself for making the right decisions to keep it from ever happening again.

I hate Alumni Weekend - it always makes my life hell - or I let it make my life hell.

Tell about a favorite childhood vacation

My favorite vacation as a child came when my family joined forces with our good friends from Brooklyn and we spent a week in the Pocono's in a cabin. I stayed in pajamas for a week, ate like a king, and played a wicked game of monopoly with my good friend Kristina. I'm talking about the kind of monopoly game that lasts for days and your entire future hinges on who gets three hotels on Boardwalk. It also helps that I had a huge crush on Kristina at the time and I swore she would be the gal I married. Such fun :)

Deep Breaths

I had to take a moment here, right before lunch, to pause and reflect on my day. So many obstacles have been thrown in front of me, and so many tasks have lain upon my shoulders, and I responded by throwing myself forward into my work. I forgot to pray.

Some might find that silly, but to me, prayer is a way to stop my mind from racing, to help me refocus and to lay down all my obstacles and challenges at the foot of the Cross and ask for help. I find perspective in prayer. It helps me realize that I will do the very best I can, but that I am meant to do no more. I will use the tools given to me, but I will not sacrifice that which is more important for the tasks of daily life. Peace of mind and heart and soul are far more important than a ‘to-do’ list.

In morning prayer today, one of the antiphons struck me: My lips will praise you, Lord, for sweeter than life is your merciful love.

That message lifted me up and stripped me of all anxiety. This life is nothing compared to God’s merciful love. All the stress I surround myself with and take upon myself is such foolishness when placed in its proper context. Give glory to God, for he is great!