Here's Courage's latest roundup of news you just didn't want to read:
1. He's old. He's sketchy. He's rich. He might be a groper. He wants his case dismissed - no duh!
2. I'm a golfer. I'm lazy. I'm a lazy golfer. This thing is my new best friend.
3. The memory of this trauma lives on and others will probably always take up the unfinished work of their masters. Sad.
4. You know what snow is, right? Your grandchildren might never know. Stop warming.
5. Pimp my ride. Saddam style.