Tuesday, October 11, 2005

My Thanks, Tuesday's Reflection, Beginning of the End?

First, I want to thank everyone who left supportive comments yesterday. I am both surprised and uplifted by your prayers, thoughts, and emails. You touched a piece of my soul.

Today's reflection is from 2 Corinthians, 5: 16-18

Therefore, we are not discouraged, rather, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal.

It had been several days since my last reading and reflection, but after the weekend and early part of this week, I  found this passage within the first ten minutes of reading. It screamed out to me and gave me great courage.

I think we fail to take control of our own lives, all too often, and then suddenly find ourselves overwhelmed, overburdened, and nearing despair and hopelessness. I am not talking about the minor bumps in the road, but the mudslides that close down highways and destroy homes and lives.

In the dark shadows of that night we feel we are wasting away, but the darkness plays tricks with the light, and we fail to realize that all is not as lost as it seems. Our afflictions in this world, no matter how severe, are never so great that we cannot find for ourselves a greater treasure oncce all is finished.

Whether you believe in heaven or not, recognizing that our hope and future good times may be at this moment unseen, but still present, can be a source of great strength. We have to turn to one another for the patience and wisdom to not be fooled by the darkness, but to look for the unssen joy and gladness of future days.

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My latest bout with depression is due to a relapse of my post-traumatic stress disorder. My brother, who has long been understanding of my therapy and the healing process has decided that my mother's hurt is too great and that his feelings and emotions should lay with her. That was preceded by a letter from my grandmother, chastising my silence. It seems the news has finally broken that I am not talking to my mother and father.

But, these sorrows have not been for naught - it is time to reveal my illness, why it happened, and what the ground rules will be for any further relationship. It is going to be a long and bumpy road, but I know there are great rewards ahead.

 
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