Tuesday, October 25, 2005

We are in action...

As promised, back on track.

Today's post is inspired from 2 Corinthians, 10: 9-11

May I not seem as one frightening to you through letters. For someone will say, "His letters are severe adn forceful, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible." Such a person must understand that what we are in word through letters when absent, that we also are in action when present.

Am I what I say I am? That is the first thought through my mind after reading this small passage from Paul. I am so many things, some good, some bad, some amazing, and some despicable. I am my actions.

I will find no solace, no comfort in lies that hide my spirit from other people. I sit in a meeting and I am quiet, subdued, or maybe I am loud and forceful. I am an actor. My world is a grand stage and I act for all I am worth, with every ounce of energy and every bit of my being. My soul is the tattered, frayed carnage that bears the weight of my actions, my acting.

There is no truth in lies, but they are so comfortable. They fit like well-worn jeans, snug and warm on a cool fall day. Who is it that you see in this writing? Who do you think I am? I am an actor. I am moving in a world of props and cues, action and script changes, but always searching for some wisdom as if I have any more insight than any of you.

We are through word in letters when absent....I am not with you, at your home, in your bed, or sitting on yoru couch, yet Paul says I am what I say here, in these words. I read your journals, and so many of us seem to search, seem to look, seem to wonder, need to know and desperately hope that someone will listen.

Are we really acting? I say no. This is who we are. We are humans, in need of love, sweet, tender security and the warmth of a strong, big hug. We write, we are, these people and more, we are all tattered souls finding solace in acceptance and community.

We need not be Christian to believe what Paul says. Regardless of our faith, or belief in God, we all doubt, and fear, and wonder if we are true to ourselves. We are. We are what we write. Our words here are of our heart, and there is no better definition of character.

Action is more than simply doing - it is being. And when we write we become who we truly are, not what we doubt or fear, but all that we are meant to be for ourselves and for one another. I and my words are nothing without the context you give them. You are sacred to me, and to yourselves, for in your words you define me, and yourselves as well.

We are the products of such love and devotion. It is good to write, to read, and to be - to act.